Navigating Friendship After a Diagnosis:
Another Take on Getting a Diagnosis
When Blake was diagnosed with autism, I thought it would be a turning point. I imagined friends and family gaining a deeper understanding and acceptance, maybe even reflecting on how they might have misjudged him in the past.
But the reality was very different.
Instead of bringing us closer, it felt like people began to distance themselves. Invitations to playdates dwindled, casual texts went unanswered, and connections with people I considered friends began to fade. At first, I kept reaching out, trying to maintain the relationships as I always had. But over time, it became clear—if I didn’t text, they didn’t either. Blake, who once had a long list of friends at age four, now has only a small handful a year later.
This led me to a difficult question: Have people stepped away because of Blake’s diagnosis? Or do they fear that his behavior will somehow "rub off" on their kids?
That thought stings because I know how hard it is to navigate childhood quirks and challenges. We’ve spent time with neurotypical kids who had biting phases, kids who got overly excited, or kids who were remarkably good at manipulation. Never once did I worry that Blake would adopt those behaviors. They were just kids being kids, and I trusted that I could guide Blake if I ever saw him mimicking something inappropriate.
So why can’t others see Blake in the same way?
This experience has taught us a bittersweet lesson. While the diagnosis has helped us access benefits and resources for Blake, it has also brought stigma and misunderstanding. We’ve found ourselves avoiding the topic of his autism with friends and family—not because we’re ashamed, but because we worry they’ll think we’re using it as an excuse or, worse, that they don’t even believe the diagnosis at all.
The stigma surrounding autism is real, and it impacts families in ways that are hard to put into words. The isolation, the second-guessing, the feeling that you’re constantly having to prove or defend your child—it’s exhausting.
Until it happens to you, it’s hard to fully understand the emotional turmoil that comes with it. We thought a diagnosis would bridge gaps, but instead, it’s revealed how wide those gaps can be.
For now, we focus on the people who do see Blake for who he is and celebrate his progress. Because at the end of the day, those are the relationships that truly matter.
#EnjoyYourSilly
From Momma Vix