A Lesson in School Politics:
When Advocacy Turns to Isolation.
Back in November, when I first stepped in as an unofficial aide in Blake’s classroom, I found myself sharing what I observed with other moms. The class dynamic was clear—Miss V was stretched too thin. Without an aide, much of her time was spent helping kids who needed extra support, leaving those who wanted to work independently without the help they needed.
One of the moms mentioned that she had already written to the school about the situation and said that others had voiced similar concerns. She suggested we all come together as one voice. It made sense—a collective message might carry more weight than individual concerns. So, I started a WhatsApp group, and at first, it seemed like we were all on the same page.
But when I suggested drafting a joint email—asking who wanted to write it, what we all wanted to say, and whether I should take the lead—things shifted. One by one, each mom said they preferred to write their own email instead. That was fine, but what followed wasn’t.
The WhatsApp chat grew silent. The playdate invitations disappeared and mom’s began to kept their distance. Looking back, I realize I made a mistake in how I framed the group’s concerns. Because I didn’t mention that another mom had suggested we advocate as a group, it may have seemed like I was the one rallying everyone. And with my child being one of the “trouble kids,” it likely came across differently than if the idea had come from someone whose child wasn’t. But at the time, I didn’t think of that.
Not long after, the school split the class—moving a third of the kids to a different classroom. And just like that, the conversations stopped. As I’ve said before, from some people, being “inclusive” comes with condition or limitation.
From me, what started as an effort to advocate for ALL the kids in the class somehow turned into social exile. It was a reminder of how delicate school politics can be and how quickly alliances can shift.
I still believe speaking up was the right thing to do. But I’ve learned that in these situations, timing, framing, and who delivers the message all matter. Sometimes, even when the goal is a shared one, not everyone feels that way—once their child is ok they forget about the one who was once with them.
#EnjoyYourSilly
From
Momma Vix